I went to SPEBE at UH and they treated us like college kids. Probably the wrong thing to do. I kept Strawberry Hill in my room refrigerator. This is 1986. My cousin came and we binge watched before that was a thing. We saw Top Gun. I feel the need. The need for speed. Then we watched Karate Kid 2 two times in a row. Peter Cetera. And it was filmed by my house in Kahaluʻu. Then I drank two bottles of that Strawberry Hill. Then I puked. Like really puked. Like the first time you drink puked. Like Linda Blair puked. And then Tūtū died that weekend. And the day I got back, I got 100 on my exam. The highest next was 96. So I’m at least four better than everyone else. I don’t feel four better. Yesterday, I was reading People Español. And I was reading it for minutes before I realized it was in Spanish. It took four minutes before I was puzzled at a word. Then i remembered slang. Ya me voy. I’m going. I met one person this week. One new person. I told her the Spanish story. She said that’s peculiar, I like peculiar people. I felt guilty. Because she liked me.
Consolations of the Worst-Case Scenario