Twenty-six

The weird part about when you’re in the surge of a transgression, you sometimes hear common, awesome things. “Your aunty took five steps,” or, “She ate Jell-o and swallowed some juice.” There’s this limbic part of the deepest, innermost part of my head that goes, if that was me I could do any of that with a drink. There’s a part of me that wonders. She can take five steps now. It’s probably 5,000 to the nearest bottle. And what scares me is that calculus is a part of my brain. Relief is this many steps away. They turn off the lights at nine. Right foot first. Count to 5000 in increments of 26. Why 26? Why not? My brain thinks in 26. 26 goes into 5000 just more than 192 times. You can make it. You’ll find a way back.